Leading Without Ego: Why Discomfort Is a Leader’s Greatest Advantage

January 7, 2026

Published in:

Leadership & Management

A group of EO leaders at a meeting walk together along a sunny street. — Photo by Entrepreneurs' Organization

As entrepreneurs, we’re naturally wired to prove our point and be right. It’s an instinctive response that often gets in the way of real growth. But what I’ve learned through my Path of Leadership experience in EO and years of leading teams is that our biggest breakthroughs happen when we get comfortable being uncomfortable—and when we lead without our ego driving the conversation.

The Framework That Changed Everything

When I first joined EO, I thought I knew what leadership looked like. I was the person with the answers, the one who could solve problems and move things forward. But EO provided me with a better framework for understanding what real leadership actually is. It’s not about proving you’re right or having your idea be the one that gets implemented. It’s about creating space for conversation, even when it makes people uncomfortable.

Consider what happens when your perspective gets challenged in a boardroom or leadership meeting. The instinctive response is to defend, to prove your point, to ensure others align with your thinking. But this approach often reveals more about our need to be right than our commitment to finding the best solution.

Through years of observing leadership dynamics, I’ve seen how this plays out. Some leaders operate from a fixed mindset—their perspective becomes gospel, and deviation isn’t an option. Others cultivate the ability to remain open to new information that might fundamentally shift their approach.

The difference isn’t just philosophical; it’s practical. When you detach from needing to be right, you create space for collaboration that wouldn’t otherwise exist. You can move forward together without perfect alignment, because the focus shifts from individual validation to collective progress.

This shift in thinking has been transformative for me as a leader. Whether I’m running The Pourium, serving on nonprofit boards, or taking on my role as Regional Chair for EO Canada, I’ve learned that the most powerful leadership comes from being open to different perspectives—even when they challenge everything I think I know.

Choosing Discomfort Intentionally

Distinguishing between productive discomfort and destructive stress requires understanding your motivation. Productive discomfort is intentional—you’re choosing to stretch yourself toward a specific growth outcome.

Even after years of public speaking, I still feel nervous right before stepping onto a stage. The perfectionist in me wants every word to land with maximum impact, and I often walk away analyzing what could have been better. But this discomfort serves a purpose: It keeps me sharp and reminds me that growth happens at the edge of our comfort zone.

The key insight for leaders is recognizing that this discomfort is data, not a deterrent.

I remember my first EO Regional Leadership Academy. It was one of those experiences where you get out what you put in. The structure forced me to refocus—no phones, no distractions, just being present and engaged.

You don’t realize how naturally unfocused we can be until you’re forced to be fully present. We operate on autopilot so much of the time, going through motions without conscious awareness. Immersive learning requires full participation. You have to be engaged. I could attend a million lectures while multitasking and not take away the same impact as being fully present for one meaningful conversation.

But that discomfort of staying present, of not having the usual escape routes, is where the magic happens. It’s where I learn to stand in my power more confidently and develop the belief that I can do anything I set my mind to.

Leading Without Ego: The Overlap

Leading without ego naturally leads to uncomfortable situations, and that’s exactly where breakthrough thinking happens. When you’re not tied to being right or having your idea dominate, you create conditions for innovation that transcend individual limitations.

This becomes especially powerful when you’re working with diverse teams or sitting on boards. I’ve learned so much from watching how different people approach the same problem. Corporate executives think in systems and processes. Financial people immediately go to risk assessment. Entrepreneurs like me see opportunity first. When a board is functioning well, it’s not trying to make everyone think the same way—it’s using all these different approaches to build stronger solutions.

The key is understanding that having an opinion different from others doesn’t mean you can’t work together or respect each other. I’m here for the hard conversations. I’m not going to shy away from different perspectives or challenging topics. As leaders, we should be able to engage in any discussion with openness and authenticity.

The Evolution of an Entrepreneur

This evolution in leadership approach fundamentally changes how you operate as an entrepreneur. Decision-making becomes more efficient because you’re not paralyzed by the need to be perfect. Collaboration improves because you’re genuinely listening for insights rather than waiting for your turn to speak.

One of the biggest shifts I’ve made is moving from focusing on what’s happening to me to focusing on what I can actually control. Instead of spending energy on market conditions or competitor actions, I concentrate on my response, my contribution, my next move.

When you consistently ask “How can I contribute to a better outcome?” rather than “Why isn’t this working the way I expected?” you develop solution-focused leadership.

The Practice of Intentional Growth

Now I actively chase discomfort. I don’t shy away from it or find excuses not to do something challenging. I look for moments and opportunities to push myself, whether that’s working with my energy coach, taking on new leadership challenges, or diving into immersive learning experiences.

The questions I ask myself when facing potential discomfort is: What am I going to take away from this? Does it move me closer to the person I want to be?

When you approach discomfort with this level of intention, it stops being something that happens to you and becomes something you actively use for growth.

Trust Your Intuition

For entrepreneurs who are naturally risk-averse but know they need to push boundaries for their business, my advice is simple: Trust your intuition. Not everyone thinks entrepreneurially. I’ve learned this from working on boards with people from corporate backgrounds, accounting backgrounds, and other industries. Everyone brings a different contribution, and understanding these different perspectives has made me a better leader.

But at the end of the day, as entrepreneurs, we have to be willing to sit in the discomfort of not knowing all the answers while staying committed to finding them. We have to be willing to lead conversations that don’t have predetermined outcomes, to collaborate with people who see things differently than we do, and to trust that growth happens in the space between what we know and what we’re still learning.

The strongest leadership comes from being genuinely yourself, even when—especially when—that means stepping outside the expected path. When you can do that while making space for others to do the same, that’s when real innovation and growth become possible.

Contributed by Kate Holden, an EO Winnipeg member who serves as Regional Chair for EO Canada, is an entrepreneur, philanthropist, and business leader. She is the founder of The Pourium, a fast-growing retail/e-commerce wine business.